McWorld vs. The "Marathi Manoos"

Below is a response to an article written by Shobha De in the Times of India. It was forwarded to me and so I don't know when it was published. Her original article is below my response.
Dear Shobhaji:

Pardon me, but you are wrong. You are not an “Assal Marathi Manoos”. As you admit, your Marathi skills are “embarrassingly dodgy”. Well, despite all the cute rhetoric, that alone would disqualify you, don’t you think? Unfortunately you are also not a "Bhaalo Bangla Mey" nor can you claim any other ethnic classification. And more power to you. You have chosen to be an Urbanite, a modern liberal world citizen. However, there are some flaws in the “amti” (which I should point out is a generic term like “curry” or “jhol” not to be used as you have, to refer to a specific dish) of your arguments.

I too am Marathi. But I am more realistic than you are in that I know I am only part Marathi. By your standards, I am actually more Marathi than you are. All four of my children's grandparents are Marathi. However, I have lived all over India and even consider myself partly a Bong, so perhaps your husband and I will get along quite well. However, more importantly I have lived over two decades in the USA. Given all this, my Marathi skills are also “dodgy”. I too consider myself a world citizen, and in many ways a social liberal.

However, unlike you and many of your brand, I don’t profess self-serving views of blindness to cultural differences. I do ask people where they are from and I enjoy the diversity of the people I meet. I do make some broad judgments of peoples proclivities based on where they are from. It is a natural human instinct to do so. Of course, as I get to know people better I modify my view of them based on their individual personality traits. Such behaviors are known to sociologists and anthropologists, and as I said are natural to humans. Anyone pretending otherwise is doing exactly that.

The problem with liberals such as you is your pretense of enjoying diversity while attacking those whose views do not match your own. Do you think for a moment that the Bihari doodhwalas and bhajiwalas that you so dearly want to protect think like you do? If they were a majority in Mumbai, you would be celebrating their festivals and their hooligans would be stoning and burning other minorities, probably Maharshtrians. Another natural human instinct - ask any sociologist. And then perhaps some convent educated Bihari writer would be defending the Marathi Manoos!

But there is a larger question too. By your militant rhetoric, do you hope to create a world that is full of people just like you? People who are all culturally alike and have the same views as you do? That is a McWorld that I fear. In fact vast forces are arrayed to make such a world a reality. Corporate marketing machines across the world function best in that kind of homogeneous and predictable marketplace. But it will be a sad day for the human race if such a world is created.

I for one will strongly advocate the opposite of what you are asking for. I want to see a world of different cultures, a world richly diverse, with many languages and traditions. And the only way to do that is by strengthening each culture, where it still exists.

Naturally, I am against violence and I do not support the hooligans who burn buses and kill people in the name of the Marathi Manoos. But I do support the goal of a robust Marathi culture. Yes, even in Mumbai, which I should also remind you is the capital of Maharashtra.

Me, Marathi.
written by Shoba De


Correct me if I am wrong, Raj... but I consider myself an assal Marathi manoos. Born in Maharashtra to Maharashtrian parents etc. Proud to be Marathi (even though my language skills in my mother tongue are embarrassingly dodgy). I don't know how to make the perfect puran poli but I do love aamti..

This is clearly not enough anymore. Going by the checklist, I could be disqualified on several scores. I am married to a Bong, who has lived and worked in Mumbai for over 30 years (but alas, has not been appointed ambassador to the state of West Bengal yet!). He attends Durga Puja regularly and prefers maacher jhol to vangi bhaat.

Fortunately, we don't have a daughter-in-law to name a college after, either in Kolkata or Mumbai! And our children (like yours) did not attend Marathi-medium schools. We employ people based on their competence, not caste or region. And I have never asked the vegetable vendor, breadwalla, taxi driver, dhobi, sweeper, elevator attendant, security guard, pizza delivery boy or any of the other people who make my life easier, which part of India they come from.

This is Mumbai, meri jaan! Who cares where anyone comes from? Dhanda is all that matters.. Mumbai is India's most powerful magnet. Once you get here, you never leave. Don't believe me? Ask those innocent bhajjiwallas and doodhwallas who were beaten up and stoned by your men last week. Even with blood-soaked bandages around their heads, and broken hearts, they are staying put. As they should.

Aaah, the natak of your dramatised 'arrest' was not lost on anybody. Had Rakhi Sawant's slapping stunt not grabbed those eyeballs on Valentine's Day, viewers would still be stuck with the image of a nattily dressed you (mmmm...loved the styling), clambering in and out of the police van. If Rakhi cleverly stage-managed the incident, what should one say about your brilliant coup? Overnight, Raj Thackeray was elevated from being the discarded Thackeray to a national figure.
In one well-orchestrated move, you went from being a neglected nephew of an ageing tiger, to a sharp-clawed, teeth-baring cub with an independent act of his own. The circus acquired a brand new star attraction — you!

It was never easy being a Thackeray. Ask Balasaheb. If he targeted South Indians in the '60s, you smartly headed North. Same agenda, diametrically different directions. By questioning the bona fides of those who have made Maharashtra their home, both of you tapped into the vulnerabilities of the average Marathi manoos. It is worth asking the very people whose interests you are protecting, whether they really want to do the dirty work currently being handled by the Northies.

Will the Marathi manoos agree to put in 18 hours a day plying taxis, selling veggies, washing clothes and so on? Who's stopping them from turning into vendors of milk, food grains, and other commodities?
Perhaps, the Marathi manoos considers such occupations demeaning? The truth is, these jobs have always gone abegging, and there have been any number of hungry, unemployed people from other states ready and willing to grab them. Kick the 'outsiders' out at your own peril, and see what happens.

Why do farmers commit suicide in such numbers only in Maharashtra ?

The answer, dear Raj, may surprise you.

In your defence, let me say you received the worst press — biased at best, and shrill to boot. Most of the semi-hysterical reporters from prestigious news channels were embarrassingly ill-informed as they blabbered incoherently each time a leaf moved outside the magistrate's court!

Surely, you are not complaining? Everything seems to be going
according to the master plan. You have 'made it' in one swift move. And women are finding you kinda cute in that sleeveless baby blue pullover. Great copy, great photo ops. What more does a neta want? To keep Mayawati and Lalu out of Maharashtra ? Now, that's a tall order!

And you thought India was poor!

Please watch the images cycle through

These are pictures of a temple dedicated to Mahalakshmi - the goddess of wealth (sic!). It is call Sripuram and is made of more than a ton of pure gold which will glitter and gleam under the bright sun of Malaikodi, about 6 km from Vellore in north Tamil Nadu. On August 24 it will be consecrated by the Sri Narayani Peetam (a "godly" organization) headed by a 31-year-old godman who calls himself Narayani Amma. Devotees call the temple 'one of the wonders of the world'. More than 400 gold and coppersmiths from the Thirupath Thirumala Devasthanam are said to have worked for six years to craft the Rs 600-crore gold temple located on 55,000 sq ft of land on a 100-acre plot. According to official sources, the gold bars were purchased through the Reserve Bank of India in 'a transparent manner.' (Read: not through the "black market", er Thank God)

This is a good example of how "God-men" are completely scamming poor people in India (and elsewhere in the world too). The problem is that in India a lot of poor people give up their life savings or even borrow money to give to this.

The maid who washes the dishes for us is apparently unable to conceive. So she and her husband are going to pay a "God-man" Rs. 5,000 (about $120), which is 10 times her monthly pay (her husband mercifully works and does not drink - a rarity). She refuses to go to a doctor, despite my wife's repeated attempts to take her.

If this couple lived in America, they would no doubt have voted for Bush (no I am not a Democrat, I am an Independent).

Why am I here?

So you asked and I answered. Why am I here?

There are many reasons, some small and some big. Some came before and some later. As in before I started the move and after I started settling in. That was a long process by the way. I started coming here for three months at a time back in 2005. I had my team here working on the technology I was developing. I found that the market looked promising here too and so, slowly but surely, “I Bangalored myself”.

So, I came because of my business. Veni, Vidi… the Vici is yet to happen. I saw a country that was changing rapidly – it was so exciting! See my first post to get an idea of what I was thinking then. Naturally, doing business here seemed attractive as well – the opportunities were boundless.

At the same time, I saw that I was needed here. Both my parents were getting old and couldn’t take care of themselves. My brother-in-law was very helpful, but he himself was suffering from Leukemia (which by the way, looks like it is in remission, Yaay!). It just made sense for the family to be here.

After the family came and I watched my kids interact with other kids here, I realized something significant that made me realize it was worth staying on. In fact, I had some inklings of it before they came, but the full impact hit me when I watched them playing (particularly soccer) with other kids. I realized that kids here are significantly more aggressive than kids in America. And so are their parents.

People in America are very nice – to a fault, unfortunately. There is little aggression on display. This is something that needs a deeper analysis someday, but in passing I feel that the state has become too powerful in America and also as women have become more powerful, men have become less aggressive. The latter is mostly a Good Thing of course, but the former is a Very Bad Thing. Irregardless (as we ungrammatically say in Wisconsin), I thought it would be a Very Good Thing for my kids to learn to be more aggressive. But what about me? Yes, I needed to be more aggressive as well and I am learning from those around me. A good lesson to learn from the country of Gandhi? Yes, but then India abounds with such dichotomies.

By the way, this aggression will have a significant impact on the world soon. Indians are going all over the world, and aggressively demanding (and getting) their share of the pie. This too deserves and article by itself, but let me just say this. You will see the Indianization of the world I your lifetime.

Then of course, I wanted my kids to experience this life. I wanted them to see a whole new reality. I hope it will give them a depth that they will need in the world to come. No, I am not talking about culture or religion (they already knew more about our culture and religion than most kids in India their age – but again that is another discussion). And it is not just one thing like the aggressiveness I discussed above. In Wisconsin, in the year before they came, the most horrific thing that had happened in our experience was this. Twice in our Kids League Soccer games, the goalpost had fallen. Luckily no one was injured! By god, if a kid had been injured, it would have been a lawsuit, or (because some parents would have been too “nice" to sue) at least a huge scandal.

The point is this – kids there (and adults too) live a too-protected and too-sheltered life. There is an email going around the net that exemplifies what I am talking about. But let me elaborate here. As I was writing this, it struck me that in two decades, I don’t remember seeing barbed wire anywhere in Wisconsin! Here there are plenty of hazards, and my children are learning to live with that. They still wear seatbelts in the car, but only if they are in the front seat. They cross the road on their own – that is a life-threatening experience at every step. We go places where there are no railings – I am watchful, but I don’t immediately call the police (They would probably not come – they would be busy rolling on the floor laughing at me!). The kids bike to their Hindi tuitions – sometimes without a helmet and I am OK with that. There is probably lead in the paint and asbestos all over, but I am learning not to worry….

Times of India (and me) on “Disenchanted NRIs”

Read an interesting article today that validates a lot of what we have been saying about India. This is an article in the Times of India called “Home Truths” by Amrita Singh. The byline says “For these disenchanted NRIs, India wasn’t what they thought it to be”. Apart from the usual misuse of the work NRI, and a few other minor points, the article is dead on. Let me outline the issues discussed there and add a few:

1. Lack of Work Culture: Most Indians don’t have any. Yes, there is that that tiny subset of Indians who do have it - they are fabulously successful people who compete on the global stage and even on that stage they are the best. I am sure you can name quite a few such people and perhaps you are one of them. But those are the exceptions. You only have to look around you in any office setting to see people doing “jack” almost all of the time. In Marathi we even have a name for it -it's called "Patya Takne". There are many reasons for this – not the least of which is our colonial heritage, but I’ll save that analysis for another blog, another time.

2. No respect for time: Let me add, no respect for others or their time. As Ms. Kuppam, a transplant from America says in the article “…nobody shows up on time, be it maids, drivers, vendors or contractors.” And I can add, colleagues, people you do business with or socialize with (not for long in my case). People will show up literally hours late and they don’t even apologize! Apparently it is expected if you are an important person. Bleaah!

3. A bias against people who have had global experience: Need I say more? Yes, everything bad is American, everything good is Indian – might well be the theme song of some people I meet. In fact, the only good things in America apparently are the Indians who have made it big, like Vinod Khosla or Indra Nooyi. It’s okay to be proud of India and its many achievements. But don’t confuse other Indians’ success with your own.

4. A culture of dependence: I have already talked about this in a previous blog – but you just cannot do without some servants. You can have all the appliances you want, but they might not work (and it takes weeks, sometimes months to get warranty service), or there might not be any electricity, or someone has to come visit (unannounced of course) or any number of things…. And as I wrote earlier, if I did not have a driver, my blood pressure would 900/800 or I would be in jail for killing people on the street.

5. Poor education: This deserves a whole book by itself, but teaching is still continued in the best schools the way it was when I went to school – rote learning, abuse thinly disguised as discipline, no teaching material beyond some very poor textbooks and on and on. And the bad schools (especially the new ones), the less said the better.

Now let me add a few of my own.

6. Corruption and greed: This is ruining the very fabric of society here and people here are too passive, too scared or too corrupt already to change anything. Again, this needs more space but maybe I’ll get into it in an upcoming blog.

7. Arrogance: Like I said, nobody here wants to hear any criticism, whether of themselves or of India or anything Indian. They think things here couldn’t be better. You want proof? I’ll bet you most Indians who read this will leave a lot of hateful comments on this blog.

8. No infrastructure: Last month we had 40 hour power cuts here. You head it right – 40 hours during the week, typically at the busiest times (since that’s when the load is highest) there is no power. The roads are a joke, traffic is a complete mess, and there is no public transportation. Most of it is because of corrupt politicians who are lining their pockets (see 6 above) and a passive population who won’t throw them out.

Well there is more, and I am exhausted by the negativity of what I wrote, but I guess it must be said.

Next time I will bring you something positive. Really, I promise.

Restart!

It has been a while since I blogged on any of my blogs. I have been just to busy, putting out version 1.0 of my software, settling the family, and reconnecting with my parents, etc. etc.

But, I think the real reason I have not written is because anything I would write would be colored by a lot of negative emotion. And I don’t believe in negative emotion – it debilitates you and it is best to clean such things out of your system. If something does not make you happy, or does not inspire you or does not excite you, it should not be part of your life! Of course, I am not such a simpleton to believe that one can live in a permanent state of myopic bliss when things around you are going to hell. One has to pay attention to the negatives and then fix them … or move on.

Which brings us back to the negative emotions I just talked about. India is frustrating. There is no sugar coated way I can say that. For someone who has lived 23 years in the US of A it is mind-bogglingly frustrating. It starts when I wake up. In Milwaukee, one of the best parts of my day was a hot-shower in the morning – it wakes me up and energizes me. In Milwaukee, I would step into the shower and turn the faucets on – Ah Nirvana! In India, I fight the faucets for the first 5 minutes (they are loose and the hot and cold streams are unbalanced), getting alternately scalded and frozen. By the time I am all soaped up, the stupid, lousy 3 gallon hot water “geyser” tank is all done. I have to finish up in cold water. I detest cold showers, except in extremely hot weather (which mercifully is only a couple of months here in Pune). Anyway, by the time I am done cursing the “geyser” and longing for the 100 gallon hot water heater in our basement in Milwaukee, I have already got a negative start to the day.

Then there are all the challenges of servants not showing up – including the maid who does the dishes and the driver. We have tried to keep the servant retinue to a minimum, but some are, well, just necessary. If I did not have a driver for example, I would probably have committed multiple homicides every mile. The few times I have driven here I wanted to litter the roads with the corpses of all those maniacal drivers who break every traffic law there is to break and then some! And …. Aaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh!

Well you get the picture – I was going to write a nice positive essay to restart my blogging, but it devolved pretty fast there didn’t it? We are only at about 9am and I am contemplating mass murder.

Anyway, like I said in my introduction, this country will frustrate you and challenge and excite you, but never bore you…

I promise I will try to be calmer in my future posts, but be prepared for some criticisms of India and Indian culture. If you can’t handle it, please don’t revisit this blog. And please no flaming – I can’t stand fanatics who can’t take criticism. Of course you will miss all the positive things I say too (and perhaps even some insights).

“A life that is not examined is not worth living” - Socrates

How things work in India (Joke)

I still don't understand how this country functions - I am amazed every day that some things actually work. The joke below exemplifies India today. I modified it slightly to make it more interesting.

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do you get here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out the American hell and it's the same except that you have to pay for the services . He then goes to the Russian hell and finds that while you are being whipped, they show you pictures of beautiful Russian women who don't want to marry you. And so on....

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Government servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!

Today's Controversy - Misogynists like me!

The big controversy in India nowadays is The Future of the Sari. You thought I was going to say The Future of Cricket, didn’t you? Well, I will have an opinion on that too shortly. :-) Watch this space.

The whole Sari controversy was started by Shashi Tharoor, bless his bleeding liberal heart. Now on his second editorial on the subject (mostly apologizing to “every female in India with a keyboard” who railed on him for celebrating the Sari), he continues to eulogize, and rightly so, how beautiful the sari is and laments how it is going out of style. I have always felt that it was a bad thing that such a wonderful garment like the Sari is being replaced by that abomination, the Salwar Kameez and worse, pants! In fact, I also like skirts and a few other outfits for the same reasons that I like the Sari, but they almost literally pale in comparison.

The sari is the most sensuous, beautiful, adaptable, colorful, sexy (yet chaste when necessary), graceful, lovely, charming, feminine garment ever invented. I could add more adjectives, but you get the idea?

In Architecture, a philosopher once tried to illustrate beauty by comparing it to a Spiral. The essential property of a spiral is that it is both changing and unchanging. In other words, at a general level the shape is not changing, yet the radius is constantly changing, and so the shape is too. If that Greek had ever seen a Sari, he would have chosen it as a better illustration than the spiral. With a flick of a wrist it can change from a seduction to a “hijab”. A little tug and everything is revealed, and yet in a flash it is gone. A single piece of cloth has infinite possibilities! What designer could possibly have conceived of such raiment! Think I am getting poetic? You ain’t seen nothing, buddy!

The controversy? For many women it is a “hassle”, managing that 5-/12 yards of cloth naturally requires skill, patience and obliging dhobis (washer men/women) who will wash it, iron and not rip it. Skill comes into the picture when putting it on and keeping it on. And therein lies the rub. The less women wear it, the more the skill erodes, until finally they reach the threshold where jumping into a pair of pants seems much more attractive to the harried modern woman.

Be that at is it may, I will be careful not to express my opinion of its utility in a woman’s life. But I will celebrate its beauty, and to do so, here is a little poem (with apologies to Shakespeare).

Shall I compare thee to a babbling brook?
Thou art more radiant and more yielding.
Rough stones do foam the stream,
And too plain is its winding.
Shall I compare thee to a flowered garden?
Thou art more colorful and more changing.
The buds have but a single song
Your colors have surpassed rioting
Shall I compare thee to a nun’s habit?
Thou art more chaste and blameless
No color, no sparkle and yet…
…yet more revealing – words fail me!
Oh, a thousand are the ways dost thou delight me!

So if there are enough of us so called misogynists who love the Sari, perhaps its future is assured. One can only hope...