Why am I here?

So you asked and I answered. Why am I here?

There are many reasons, some small and some big. Some came before and some later. As in before I started the move and after I started settling in. That was a long process by the way. I started coming here for three months at a time back in 2005. I had my team here working on the technology I was developing. I found that the market looked promising here too and so, slowly but surely, “I Bangalored myself”.

So, I came because of my business. Veni, Vidi… the Vici is yet to happen. I saw a country that was changing rapidly – it was so exciting! See my first post to get an idea of what I was thinking then. Naturally, doing business here seemed attractive as well – the opportunities were boundless.

At the same time, I saw that I was needed here. Both my parents were getting old and couldn’t take care of themselves. My brother-in-law was very helpful, but he himself was suffering from Leukemia (which by the way, looks like it is in remission, Yaay!). It just made sense for the family to be here.

After the family came and I watched my kids interact with other kids here, I realized something significant that made me realize it was worth staying on. In fact, I had some inklings of it before they came, but the full impact hit me when I watched them playing (particularly soccer) with other kids. I realized that kids here are significantly more aggressive than kids in America. And so are their parents.

People in America are very nice – to a fault, unfortunately. There is little aggression on display. This is something that needs a deeper analysis someday, but in passing I feel that the state has become too powerful in America and also as women have become more powerful, men have become less aggressive. The latter is mostly a Good Thing of course, but the former is a Very Bad Thing. Irregardless (as we ungrammatically say in Wisconsin), I thought it would be a Very Good Thing for my kids to learn to be more aggressive. But what about me? Yes, I needed to be more aggressive as well and I am learning from those around me. A good lesson to learn from the country of Gandhi? Yes, but then India abounds with such dichotomies.

By the way, this aggression will have a significant impact on the world soon. Indians are going all over the world, and aggressively demanding (and getting) their share of the pie. This too deserves and article by itself, but let me just say this. You will see the Indianization of the world I your lifetime.

Then of course, I wanted my kids to experience this life. I wanted them to see a whole new reality. I hope it will give them a depth that they will need in the world to come. No, I am not talking about culture or religion (they already knew more about our culture and religion than most kids in India their age – but again that is another discussion). And it is not just one thing like the aggressiveness I discussed above. In Wisconsin, in the year before they came, the most horrific thing that had happened in our experience was this. Twice in our Kids League Soccer games, the goalpost had fallen. Luckily no one was injured! By god, if a kid had been injured, it would have been a lawsuit, or (because some parents would have been too “nice" to sue) at least a huge scandal.

The point is this – kids there (and adults too) live a too-protected and too-sheltered life. There is an email going around the net that exemplifies what I am talking about. But let me elaborate here. As I was writing this, it struck me that in two decades, I don’t remember seeing barbed wire anywhere in Wisconsin! Here there are plenty of hazards, and my children are learning to live with that. They still wear seatbelts in the car, but only if they are in the front seat. They cross the road on their own – that is a life-threatening experience at every step. We go places where there are no railings – I am watchful, but I don’t immediately call the police (They would probably not come – they would be busy rolling on the floor laughing at me!). The kids bike to their Hindi tuitions – sometimes without a helmet and I am OK with that. There is probably lead in the paint and asbestos all over, but I am learning not to worry….